Shut the Fuck Up, Dick Cheney

Speaking out is as American as it gets, yet as with most rights they are neither absolute nor impervious to abuse.

Former Vice-president Dick Cheney has apparently anointed himself guardian of the Bush legacy. In several prominent interviews since leaving office, El-Producto has seen fit to do something few ex-presidents or vice-presidents do publicly, which is to actively criticize a sitting president in such a way so as to plainly seek to undermine his station or embarrass him politically. Nice touch, Dickhead.

Criticizing sitting presidents should be left to the tea baggers of their time. Former chief executives and their vices (pun intended) belong to a unique order, and one salient - if unwritten - rule among members is that they refrain from openly badmouthing a sitting commander-in chief. There are a thousand reasons for this virtual decree, and each of them reveals a wisdom at its core. El Cid, however, cannot seem to comprehend any of them.

Whether you know it or not, Mr. History the Way I See It, no one believes you're that stupid. On the contrary, you are putting the powers of your ample intellect to use for plainly nefarious purposes, not the least of which is dirty politics. Gambling much of your reputation on the collective intellect of the masses, however, seems a risky business. They are likely to prove much more savvy than you appear willing to give them credit for.

As a rule, loyalty is a noble sentiment. Blind loyalty, however, is ominously ignoble. Do us all a favor, if you would, Sir Richard: speak when and where it is your place; when and where it is not, shut the fuck up!